Learning Carpentry

What to do/say to convince my hubby to go back to school/get a different job?

My hubby is 33, he dropped out of high school at 17 and never went back to get his GED. He currently does construction, but complains a lot about his back and knees hurting and that he won't be able to do manual labor for much longer. He's very interested in computers and has said before he'd like to take so courses on computer design so he could get a job doing that and have actual benefits through a company. In the 7 years we've been together he's not worked with a single place he's a had benefits, mostly back-woods privately owned electrical or carpentry companies that pay in straight cash. I've tried suggesting and asking him for years why doesn't he at least go back and get his GED, the local community college offers the GED courses free of charge, and he could even take them online if he didn't want to go to campus. He always has some reason not to though, he'd be too tired when he got home, school was never his thing, he can't concentrate at night, the evenings are his time, getting his GED won't make a difference, etc. . . I'm really not trying to nag him, but I am aware it may come across as such, mostly I want to see him with a job that gets him out of the weather as much as possible, will provide him and the family with some sort of benefits, and into something he actually takes interest in. Manual labor is all he's ever done, so he's used to it, but he constantly says how much he hates it and wishes he'd stayed in school instead of dropping out when he was younger, but never makes the effort to go back when he has the chance to. For ex: He'd been talking since the Summer that this semester he was really going to get signed up for his GED courses, and I was so happy about that, but the sign-up time came around and every day he had a reason why he couldn't do it, then last minute sign-up came and I told him it's his last chance, he said he'd do it tomorrow, but when I called and asked if he did, he said it slipped his mind. So, now it's too late again. Please, any suggestions on what to say or how to convince my hubby that doing this won't be a waste of time and effort? Thanks! I'd love to, but we have 3 young kids, the youngest is on the autism spectrum, and hubby is not ok with the idea of me working because his mom and neither of his grandma's ever worked.

Public Comments

1. you go get a good job with benefis
2. well if he likes computers have get his GED on line then he can take some course, online or go to a school the first step is to get the GED or start doing home repairs on his own The money is great and he will be his own boss start off small then work your way up
3. You can't. He is a grown man. Just support him in what he does and any possible future decisions to better himself. As far as you not working though, that's crap and you know it. This has become a need, not a choice. Unless childcare will become more expensive than your benefits and pay you need a job. Your child can receive quality care. Just because (s)he has Autism does not mean (s)he cannot got to preschool. In fact preschool is probably one of the best things you can do for him/her. EDIT- I just read some of your other questions. I may be completely wrong, but your husband sounds like he has control issues. If this is the case you may want to start thinking about why you are really in this marriage.
4. He's not interested in furthering his education. Well, for an uneducated, underemployed guy, you sure are letting him call all the shots.When your child with Autism is 3, he/she can go to public school for Early Childhood Development. It's free, it's federally mandated, and it will allow you to work a few hours, progressing to most of the day when kindergarten starts. Your husband is not planning for the future of your family, you'd better be. If he were dealing with this effectively, you could sit at home like mom and grandma. He's not. Be realistic.